As a little girl, my hair was always a "problem". I don't remember a time when I didn't have something in my hair; a relaxer, Jheri curl, sew-ins, braids. I was always trying to cover up the naps and create the illusion that I had long luxurious hair. In reality, my hair was damaged, thin, and unhealthy. My hair was so thin and unhealthy that when I got sew-ins, my hair was too thin to cover up the tracks. My mother took me to numerous hair dressers trying to get my hair to grow or figure out a way to tame my super coarse hair. Never was it suggested that I should be my natural self. My natural hair was something I was ashamed of and as much confidence as I tried to exude, deep down I didn't feel pretty. In college I went through the phase of getting my hair cut short, which I liked at first, but still required all day appointments at the hair dresser to get a relaxer and maintain the cut. In addition to that, the daily maintenance of a short cut that needed to be curled added the extra stress of heat. As I have gotten older I realize that while I love to look good, it has to be with the least amount of effort possible. Therefore, the short cut eventually lost its appeal and I was back to looking for something else to cover up my hair.
My last hair style was what finally made me decide to go natural. The style was super cute and I stuck with it for a little over a year (which is really long for me). It was the short hair cut style that Rihanna was famous for (shaved on one side, longer on the other side with a longer bang). Even though the style was cute, it drove my self esteem even lower because in order to pull off the style, I STILL needed a little bit of weave in the front. Who needs weave for a hair CUT? I had had enough. I decided that as soon as my hair grew out enough for braids, that I was going natural. I didn't know what I was going to do with my natural hair, but I decided that I would figure that out later. I began getting braids in February 2009 and wore them without fail until September 2011. Each time I got my hair re-braided, I cut the relaxer out of my hair little by little. I was so amazed at how my hair was growing. There were a few times that I tried to wear my afro out but being new to natural hair, I was unaware of shrinkage. I tried to blow my afro out to make it bigger but the heat began to damage my hair again so I went back to the braids. Finally, I decided, you know what? I'm not going to worry about how short my hair looks or what people will say, I'm not wearing braids, weaves, or anything. I'm going to get locs. Getting locs was THE BEST decision of my life. I love my hair. I love the low maintenance and the carefree feeling my locs give me. I have been loc'd for almost 2 years and this is the longest and healthiest my hair has ever been. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner and avoid a lot of the turmoil I went through trying to understand and accept my authentic self.
-Shaun Scott
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